It happened tonight and I had to record it somewhere for future generations to know about. I, Calvin, popped a bag of microwave popcorn where ALL the kernels popped. Yes, ALL THE KERNELS. I even checked the folds and could not find a single unpoppped kernel of corn. I know many of you would doubt me but I have no reason to lie. I have popped thousands of such bags and never achieved the conditions necessary to create such a perfection of popitude. Orville Redenbacker must be turning over in his grave and rightly so.
